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Comment by Richard on May 30, 2012 at 0:59

G'day Paul S,

I'm sorry I didn't see this earlier, like when it was first posted - none of us are immune from the Canine Noir ... which is why we're on this board methinks.

The medication conflict is an issue you need to discuss with your doctor, and quickly. You need them meds to work for you, not make other stuff worse. I understand the underlying feelings of &^%$&** arrrrr fuggit too - been getting a few of them meself of late. Mate, as long as you keep in there fighting the damn things, them dark thoughts will move aside. I'm not trying to suggest it's easy or that some Pollyanna type cheerful thoughts will work, they won't, but genuinely fighting and questioning the dark thoughts does work ... and the stuff that might seem merely grey, or not important at all. Life can be a real shit at times though, that's why they invented push bikes and chocolate and good books and cats that love to curl up in your lap and all sorts of good stuff that's easy to over look sometimes. A grossly thick peanut paste sandwich and mug of coffee at the right time can be very therapeutic, as can a carefree ride on that two wheeled thingie all your friends secretly admire you for riding.

And if you're wondering why I'm answering this at near as dammit to midnight, it's because two slices of bread, a slab of peanut paste, not to mention a boiling kettle and a siamese cat that imagines he's missing out on much deserved attention are all calling to me ... besides, I want to find out what happens next in this appalling (but interesting) book I'm reading.

Life really is what you make of it. The making can be hard work at times, but when the dust settles, you're the one who benefits and to let you in on a little secret, just making the effort to challenge those negative thoughts is more important than anything else.

Richard

Comment by Paul S (Maximus) on May 29, 2012 at 22:45

Thanks Paul

Trying many different things. Is it just me that finds irony in the fact that medication for chronic headaches can cause anxiety and depression and that medication for anxiety and depression can cause chronic headaches. Dont know whether to laugh or cry!

At least Eurovision gave me a bit of a laugh.

Comment by Paul on May 29, 2012 at 19:18

hi Paul,

I hope things have brightened up for you, from what you've posted it couldn't get darker. If it hasn't brightened well I hope that what you wrote earlier to Rob can inspire or comfort you back, because I can vouch that it's true: it can get better, and given time and effort it does.

Comment by Paul S (Maximus) on May 27, 2012 at 12:46

I thought black was as dark as it could get. I need some suggestions to come up with a new name for something much, much darker than black, because that's where I've been for the last five days.

Comment by Paul S (Maximus) on May 22, 2012 at 0:31

Hi Rob. Its so so hard to know what advice to give you that you would be in a position to accept, because everyone's journey is unique, and how we feel one moment can be very different than in another moment. All I know is that it can get better!I figure that its better to have well meaning people give me advice (and I pick the advice I want or can handle and reject the advice I dont want) than not get any advice at all. People can be well meaning, but at times their comments may not be of much help.

Having said all that, the best advice I can offer from someone who has been on that journey is to get advice from those best able and qualified to give it (Beyond Blue, Health Professionals etc)

 

Comment by Rob (Chewbacca) on May 21, 2012 at 21:14

People have told me to be true to myself and be myself at various times over the last year.....its hard to accept this advice when knowing there are many negative things about me that others dont like and need changing, know I dont measure up to their expectations......know Im a huge disappointment for many who have met me......#putting paper bag over head# .....

Comment by Smudge on March 31, 2012 at 0:12

One to keep in mind for September guys is World Suicide Prevention Day, September 10th. As this is a Monday, and many of us work, What's Your Story, Charles Sturt YAC and Smudge Monkees will be holding a ride from the Entertainment Centre to Henley Square on September the 9th. Only a small ride, as we want it to be a family friendly event, where kids are welcomed too. We will be having a number of things happening in Henley Square that morning, including the Amazing drumming Monkeys for the kids.

As a lead up to this event, on September the 2nd, BISA, OPAL, and Smudge Monkees will be having a "Bring and Fix" session on Woodville Rd. The idea here is that kids bikes can be brought in, and we wil be doing small repairs to get them back and operational again, such as new tubes, tyres, cables etc. Due to risk of course, we can not do any major repairs, nor should it be seen as that type of an event.

As we build more info on these two, i will eventually add an event to the calendar here.

Now that I am on top of my many and long drawn out battles, Smudge Monkees will be working with a hospital this December for a Cycling Santa Ride again, but more details to be posted as they come to light.

Ahh, just like my t-shirts say, I love this shit!!!

Comment by Smudge on March 30, 2012 at 23:54

Hello all, nice to see something like this on the AC site! Some of you in this group who know me, know I have my bouts with the dog, and that I have a familial history with mental health, depression and suicide. 

Chewie, Sarah and I had the opportunity to do a great ride with some guys last year, raising funds for the black dog institute, so I thought I would share a link to their Facebook site, so you can get some more info about them if you like.

Black Dog Institute

Their website is www.blackdoginstitute.org.au, and it has some great info on it.

Hang in there all, cos every day above ground is a bonus.

Keep the rubber side down,

Smudge! 

Comment by Matthew (two dogs) Marshall on March 30, 2012 at 23:34

Well we all know what an end of month friday is like.
Just had the worst one ever Dad is in hospital with hart problems(82) and today is the day I forgot my meds, hefty dose of efexor and my diabex so shugar levels up the shit to any way on my way home so it should start looking up soon.

Comment by Rob (Chewbacca) on March 18, 2012 at 23:51

Hey Richard.....welcome to the ebb and flow of life....definitely understand the manic and depressive phases....when someone or something throws a rock into my pond, the waves lap the banks and it takes a while for the water to calm down again.  Until that calming down happens the dirt off the banks can muddy the waters and it is not possible to see the bottom until the mud and dirt settle gain....in the meantime left wondering if I can touch the bottom without the water going over my head......just keep swimming.....just keep swimming.....just keep swimming.....

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