Best Burns.

As a commuter cyclist and a recreational cyclist I have copped more than my fair share of 'burns' from bogans in cars. This morning's though left me dumbfounded!

Me - on Hindley St at 6am (I know!) turning right onto King William Street but stopped at the lights.

Tool in 4wd edges up closer than necessary and yells -  "Mother F...r - Hey Mother F....r, the bike lane's on the left Mother F...r" (I'm pretty sure there is no bike lane on Hindley St but never the less)

Me - "I'm turning mate"

Tool - "You're on the road Mother F....r"

Me - "Yeah, I'm turning mate"

Tool - "You're on the road, why are you on the road?"

Me - "Why are you on the road in an off road vehicle" 

Thankfully at this point the lights changed - hilariously my acceleration was A LOT quicker than his but he caught up to me at the next lights where he issued me with the most devastating burn I'd ever been issued with. It was singularly the most offensive thing you could yell at a road cyclist, the closest to the bone, the salt in the wound, the insult to injury....

Tool - "TOUR DE FRANCE!"

Me -.... blinks...  scratches head ... blinks .... "um?.... thanks?"

I know I shouldn't laugh at the afflicted and that dim people deserve extra patience but this struck me as one of the most hilariously wide of the mark insults you could hurl at a cyclist, he might as well have called me Freddy Merckx.

So what's the naffest thing you've had yelled at you?

Views: 22

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Dahondude on January 8, 2011 at 15:19
That's superb!
Permalink Reply by Mark Ellul on January 8, 2011 at 15:47
I think I will start carrying my wife's ex Police badge in my back pocket. I'm sure that will get some interesting responses!!
Permalink Reply by rossmg on January 8, 2011 at 16:45
Did you get the idiots' number plate, description of vehicle & driver so you could report the tool to the police?
Permalink Reply by Julia on January 8, 2011 at 17:05

Classic! You and he both were very sharp of tongue at such an early hour (I wouldn't have asked the "why the off-road vehicle" question).

There is a great story of the bloke who had the misfortune to stop a group on Military Rd and engage in some "conversation" with some of the group because they had delayed his journey by about 5 seconds. Trouble is, one of the riders was a little more on the ball, and when said motorist got back into his car, there were no keys! Whilst the motorist was discussing the evils of delaying his journey, one of the riders had taken the keys out of the ignition and put them somewhere far away. Probably a very naughty thing to do, but so effective.

Permalink Reply by David B.o.R. on January 8, 2011 at 18:26
The off road vehilcle bit is an old stand by that I've used a few times! Another favourite is "I've spent more on my bike than you've obviously spent on your car so I've got more right to be here than you" it realy confuses the boy racers in their wrx's.
Permalink Reply by RD6 on January 8, 2011 at 17:15
I have had my fair share of name calling from bogans down south, I squirt em with my water bottle - usually shuts em up and whip out my iphone and pretend to take a photo - works wonders
Permalink Reply by richb on January 16, 2011 at 20:00
My favourite is to take big swig from my bottle, then hold it all in my mouth and puff out my cheeks. See how fast they can wind up their windows! :->
Permalink Reply by Mark Ellul on January 8, 2011 at 19:49
It's funny the way it works....most times when a group drives past you and the smart arses give you a mouthful, you usually catch up to them at the next set of lights. Had a group do it to me once....young lads on their P's, drove close up to me and scared the crap out of me. The next set of lights was only around 100m up the road and they were red. I was so pissed off I pulled my pump out ready to strike...they saw me coming as they slowed down and decided to run the red light cause they knew I would catch them. If only!!
Permalink Reply by Clive Palfrey on January 8, 2011 at 20:44
Paint gun pistols should be legalised for cyclists
Permalink Reply by JDL on January 8, 2011 at 20:53

I've had a few run ins myself.. You have to be careful answering back though.. Plenty of psychos out there in cars and you're pretty vulnerable on a bike... If they're derranged enough to be abusing a complete stranger they may be deranged enough to do worse..

 

Some little f&*ker threw a McDonald's drink at me once from a passing car, no warning, splattered soft drink all over my leg, scared the crap out of me!!

Permalink Reply by heather on January 8, 2011 at 22:43
JDL, something similar happened to me when the passenger leant half-way out the window to throw a half-full bottle at me. Enough force that I ran into the concrete gutter. Had not gone far when I realised my own water bottle had been dislodged so went back to retrieve it. Fortunately the same force had not connected with my body. I reported the incident within 30 minutes to SAPOL but not interested. The officer could not comprehend that throwing an object at a cyclist creates a road safety hazard.
Permalink Reply by William Whittaker on January 9, 2011 at 13:21
Forget the road hazard - I would have thought that it would be classified as assault?

RSS

Support our Sponsors


© 2013   Created by Gus K.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service