As a commuter cyclist and a recreational cyclist I have copped more than my fair share of 'burns' from bogans in cars. This morning's though left me dumbfounded!
Me - on Hindley St at 6am (I know!) turning right onto King William Street but stopped at the lights.
Tool in 4wd edges up closer than necessary and yells - "Mother F...r - Hey Mother F....r, the bike lane's on the left Mother F...r" (I'm pretty sure there is no bike lane on Hindley St but never the less)
Me - "I'm turning mate"
Tool - "You're on the road Mother F....r"
Me - "Yeah, I'm turning mate"
Tool - "You're on the road, why are you on the road?"
Me - "Why are you on the road in an off road vehicle"
Thankfully at this point the lights changed - hilariously my acceleration was A LOT quicker than his but he caught up to me at the next lights where he issued me with the most devastating burn I'd ever been issued with. It was singularly the most offensive thing you could yell at a road cyclist, the closest to the bone, the salt in the wound, the insult to injury....
Tool - "TOUR DE FRANCE!"
Me -.... blinks... scratches head ... blinks .... "um?.... thanks?"
I know I shouldn't laugh at the afflicted and that dim people deserve extra patience but this struck me as one of the most hilariously wide of the mark insults you could hurl at a cyclist, he might as well have called me Freddy Merckx.
So what's the naffest thing you've had yelled at you?
Classic! You and he both were very sharp of tongue at such an early hour (I wouldn't have asked the "why the off-road vehicle" question).
There is a great story of the bloke who had the misfortune to stop a group on Military Rd and engage in some "conversation" with some of the group because they had delayed his journey by about 5 seconds. Trouble is, one of the riders was a little more on the ball, and when said motorist got back into his car, there were no keys! Whilst the motorist was discussing the evils of delaying his journey, one of the riders had taken the keys out of the ignition and put them somewhere far away. Probably a very naughty thing to do, but so effective.
I've had a few run ins myself.. You have to be careful answering back though.. Plenty of psychos out there in cars and you're pretty vulnerable on a bike... If they're derranged enough to be abusing a complete stranger they may be deranged enough to do worse..
Some little f&*ker threw a McDonald's drink at me once from a passing car, no warning, splattered soft drink all over my leg, scared the crap out of me!!